Ummm, you don't love her less, you are proabably just healthier, so you have recognized it earlier. I know this will probably sound wierd to you till you totally get it, which took me forever- Nothing you can say or do will cause her to want to stop! Period! Rock bottom still hasn't done it for my STBAAH who I am pregnant by for the second time. So here I am knowing he won't stop, and I am looking at 18 more years of child rearing alone, and not in the best financial place, because my emotional health was not good enough to walk away years ago! I hope you have not had children with this woman, and I hope that you will be strong enough to walk away if she does not figure it out for herself, because you can't make her see what she needs to see. Alanon will be good for you to get this idea, and I for one am rooting for you to not waste 15 years of your life (14 for me) waiting, hoping, and wishing she would get better. Good Luck- keep us posted!