"what would it take for you to be okay with my drinking?"
This is weird. I've been reading other people's stories for the last couple of days, and then I look at the fact that I'm hitting my limit with my AGF after three years. Her drinking has only been problematic for the last year and a half, since she's been legal, but I'm seeing all these people who have been with their partners for 15 years, and I feel like I'm wussing out and must not love her enough. But I do love her! Whether I should, that's another question, but.... Arrrgh.
She's acknowledged that she's not responsible with her drinking, but instead of doing the non-A thing of, y'know, NOT making bad decisions about alcohol anymore, she wants to know what it's going to take to get me comfortable with her drinking. And the answer (though I haven't told her this) is "whatever it would take to get you comfortable with the idea of me cheating on you". That's the level of violation I feel at this point. Which stinks because at the moment we're 850 miles away from each other, so I have no way to verify how much she does or doesn't drink or when or under what circumstances, so I'm feeling cheated on pretty much constantly. Which I realise is totally my issue, and that's why I'm going to start going to Al-Anon this Sunday.
Right now she's avoiding calling me, because she can tell that there's going to be a "talk".
*headdeskthud*