Hi Keepthefaith,
harsh responses sometimes help me and sometimes hurt me, but ultimately, I sometimes fail to see the 'truth' because I have rose-colored glasses on, and live in denial at times. DENIAL:
Dont
Even
k
Now
I Am
Lying
It could seem that alot of responses are extreme, but your sons behavior is beyond extreme. Another thing, lots of people on this forum have children who are that b*itch who needed a fix or their children are addicts and supplied by people like your son. Your son doesnt make anyone use,thats not what Im saying, but just another perspective maybe to look at.
I am sorry for your pain and it seems very apparent that you love your son and see the best in him, even when buried underneath the ugly parts.
Seems to me, you would rather love your son to death, than run the chance of losing contact with him. I did that alot with my ex, bc I wanted him around (to know he was safe, know he wasnt in jail, etc) more than I wanted to be without him.
That was me being selfish.
I know my son is selling drugs which kill people and i know i cant stop that. I just want him to make sure he does not die.
I dont know how to sugarcoat this keepthefaith, but what your above statement says to me is....I dont care if someone elses son dies from the drugs he sells them, as long as my son is safe.
Slippery slope. I hope you can get some counseling to help you out and hope you stay safe. I would personally be very cautious about identifying gang affillitaion on the internet, lots of people surf around and sometimes I have to remind myself that although I seem anonymous, Im not that transparent. I say that out of concern for your safety
I dont think you are a bad mom, I think you are hurting and need a hug.
Take care