I know deep down inside, without a doubt that he will be alone at 45, 55, 65 and so on so i need to move on myself. There is nothing that is holding us together, he owes major back taxes, now owes me alot of money, has a crappy job, isn't honest....i know all of this, it's just hard to fathom that the person you loved soooo much could basically live a double life. Once i get home and back to my meetings and support systems i'm hoping to get on the right track. Like Barbara said in an earlier post, he needs to stop having such control over me, he's not worth the space in my head anymore.