I was one of a lucky few who's partner found a path to recovery. I can't say that he "returned" to the man whom I fell in love with because in many ways, that man never left me. Richard was a quiet, gentle, and compassionate man who cared deeply for those he loved. He was faithful, trustworthy, and kind. Alcohol may have robbed him of his health and eventually his life, and it may have robbed me of my life partner, but it couldn't steal his heart. Even when he was falling down drunk and having difficulty functioning he was still a lovely man and worthy of love.
Richard did find a path to recovery and was able to stay sober for 8 months. I'd tell you that I fell in love with him all over again during that time, but the truth is try as I might, I simply could not fall out of love with him. I cherish those sober months we spent together and I know he did, too. We didn't do anything extraordinarily special during that time, we simply resumed our daily lives, free from the effects of alcoholism.
We lived in separate homes, but we spent weekends together. Every Saturday we'd go out to breakfast together. We'd ask for a table by the fireplace and sip coffee and enjoy pancakes or eggs and bacon and fill each other in on what happened during the week. Then we'd take the scenic way home, along winding country roads, and take in the beauty of nature. We'd comment on the green pastures, the cows grazing in the field, the corn reaching out towards the sun, spectacular blue skies.
When we got home, we'd take a nap together, then do our chores, watch a little TV, or read. Every once in a while, he'd reach out and take my hand in his, give it a little squeeze and tell me he loved me. Or I'd walk by him in the kitchen and he'd grab me, wrap his arms around me, and kiss me gently. When he'd let his lips linger there for just a second or two longer, my heart would melt.
Richard's health was failing and I knew we were on borrowed time, but I can honestly say that the 8 months we spent together was the best time of our relationship. And while it was only a temporary reprieve and he resumed drinking, I still think of that time we were able to spend together as a gift from God. It gave me an opportunity to say goodbye and tell him that I love him for the millionth time.
And now that he's gone I realize that, although alcoholism may be a powerful and cunning disease, it was not powerful enough to steal his heart. Sometimes when we pray for a miracle, it may come in a temporary form, but it's a miracle nonetheless.
Thanks for letting me share.