Hi Victoria C
You've come a long way just working the first three...Alot of people come in the program and do 1 & 2 and when they get to 3 they are just not ready to continue...
When I came in to the program I was at the bottom, I had to completely surrender or go actually insane...I really had tried everything I could think of, read every book (except the Big Book of A.A.)I could find, did counciling, you name it. I would have done anything my sponsor told me to do to have what she had...She didn't push me, she told me I needed time to heal before I could start working the Steps
I do hope that you have a sponsor to go to...to work this Step.
Mine was so wonderful....I still do a Fourth Step inventory just as a spot check to see where I was and where I still need to go...Old behaviors and attitudes just keep popping up when I least expect it.
You're not alone in being fearful of Step 4, alot of us were and are...
First off it is NOT an inmoral inventory, I think of it as a tool shed, there are tools (behaviors, attitudes, thought patterns, beliefs) that I have stored in the shed...tools that never worked for me...never will work for me...until I can see the same tools used in the same way over and over again...I won't able to see how usless it is for me to continue using them...I also didn't see how damaging they were when I used them on other people...My sponsor lead me thru my 4th Step page by page until I could see my STRENGTHS and weakness...( some of my character defeats are really strengths when I use them with love.) Then I could tell what tools I wanted or needed to keep and what ones I needed to get rid of.
There are several different outlines in the circles of Al-Anon and AA, I hesatate reconmending any one way...Your sponsor should be able to do that...
It helped me to start the pages with DEAR GOD at the top, I firgued He already knew everything about me. I wasn't telling Him anything He didn't already know so I felt safer that way.
Good luck and I hope that helps..
Love and prayers