Originally Posted by
drainedwife 
--its that im afraid i still wont be able to pay the bills--i get so scared about this, almost paralized. I am afraid that I cant do it on my own........ I wanted you all to know that my dad left my mom with nothing. He didnt pay aything to her. We had to sell the house and move into a small apt. My mom had to provide for me and my sister, and she hadnt worked for 17 years....
dw,
Have you asked your therapist to assist you in sorting out things that happened to you as a child? It's something that I am working very hard on right now, and it sheds a lot of light on the behaviors that I got caught up in, and on the reasons why it took me such a long time to break free of my exah. It sounds to me as if maybe part of the paralysis that you mentioned may be related to the terror you felt as a child when your father abandoned you.
Just a thought....still praying for you!!