When I got sober I was expecting certain things to happen. I wanted to feel something intensely. So I had a good relapse and felt a really intense hangover that lasted almost 2 weeks. yuck!!
Anyway I got pregnant after a year of being clean I felt terrible the whole time I was pregnant but, I was very thankful that I had been clean for a year and did not have to worry that alcohol might harm the baby. Today he is 20 years old and a great person. I became intensely interested in raising my son and being healthy.
I am very happy that I did not find motherhood boring.
There has been a lot of negative stuff in my life since I have been clean. There was a lot of negative stuff in my life before I got clean but, I am sure I would rather be clean going thru it than drunk.
I have gotten over my grandiose bs and my desire for things to be intensely fun. My feet are on the ground I know that alcohol hurts my body and my mind.
One time I was out with my son and we ran into a woman that I was in school with she had a beer in her hand and it was obvious that she had had a few that day...my son asked me if she was one of grandma's friends I told him no that I had gone to school with her and he said well she looks as old as grandma....alcohol ages a person and I am really
glad that I don't have to look in the mirror at a 50 something year old drunk...yuck again...
Focusing on my health as brought me many rewards. While many of my school contemporaries are being treated for hepatitis, cirrhosis, and other horrible diseases I am in good health. Many people are surprised at how old I am.
While I don't drink anymore I can still play music, paint, write, workout, go out to dinner, take my dogs for a good brisk walk and in the morning when I wake up I feel good
plus I do enjoy my work and my off time too.
SO I would say I am happy about 90% of the time but I am striving to get that other 5%