96tears

I am experiencing a quandary. I am a former musician-writer and in some circles a very accomplished and articulate audio producer now semi retired in Las Vegas. At age 48. I am financially secure for the moment anyway.

I have experienced 2 real parents that abandoned my brother and I at an early age and 7 step parents all dysfunctional. I have been a dishwasher, paperboy, truck driver, insurance executive, house painter, audio producer and most everything in-between. I have studied Tony Robbins, SRF, Science of Mind, Christianity, Zen, and a variety if very helpful philosophies. I gave up drinking now about a month ago and I can’t say that I am any more happy or focused. In fact I had more fun (while the fun lasted) partying hard but yet responsibily!

I am exercising, praying, eating less, reading positive books and still I feel empty and struggling with very little motivation. All the “what if’s” keep popping up in my head about former relationships, the kids I helped raise, income, retirement and what I should do in my life now. I turn on the TV for some inspiration out of being hard up and bored and guess what? It is pathetic! Cop shows, court shows, negative news, judging talent and competition crap, comedy that could be written by a 10 year old and I can go on and on. How many people out there get up and have a great day everyday? Please respond, and please share with us all how on earth you got to that amazing level, and what you keep doing to stay there. Thanks. Mike in Vegas keeps trying!