woken up early and am feeling slightly shocked- 2 big (well, big for me) things have happened.
1. i had the most relevant dream. in it i pretty much was crying the whole time. i cried because my nan had died in the dream (which in real life happened a year ago), i cried for my ex ex boyfriend who i broke up with a year ago. i cried because of my recent ex boyfriend who in the dream asked someone else out in front of me (that never happened, hard to explain but his behaviour on our break up was equivalent in callousness). Finally, i cried because in the dream my brothers girlfriend, who is like my sister, died at 25. this, thank god, isn't true but it felt symbolic- like with all the stuff going on and my ocd/alcoholism/depression, this is too much to handle alone.
2. i wondered- shall i have a drink like i have done recently in the morns? it would be easy to do, yet a voice inside me said 'but WHY?' i realised i didnt want to feel drunk at all.
Sorry this may seem like nothing to you but for me its like massive lights coming on and hints at 'something' going on..