Hey Bets,
Sorry the visit wasn't the best.
I didn't attend any of my son's sessions. I had decided shortly after I took him to be admittied that I couldn't be there "with" him. I did see him here and there when I dropped off things he needed. It gave me a change to remind him I was rooting for him, and I usually dropped a card in his care packege letting him know I loved him, and I was proud of him for seeing it through. It didn't matter if it made a difference to him, it made a difference to me.
I think by the time he entered, I just couldn't take one more day of the sadness that addiction brings. I wasn't in denial, nor did I take it lightly, I just let him handle it.
I agree with Ann in that I often get bothered by what we "should" do as "good" moms. I was lucky in that the rehab my son was in put the burden on the addict. No one there used the language that implied that I "should" be there for events.
I don't regret not going.
My son knows darn right well I cared, and I supported his efforts.
I was just a beaten tired mom when it came to addiction.
Hang in there Bets
(((Cece))))