(((((((Susan))))) It seems as our adult child relapses, we relapse too. We get a new round of sorrow, frustration, disappointment, shattered hopes and a feeling that this will never end. We have to go back to step one and start over along with renewed practice of the skills it takes for detachment. It takes a some time, but hopefully not too long this time around. I know exactly how you are feeling as I felt that way a week ago. This week I am much better even though I still haven't heard from my son. People do recover, don't lose sight of that, maybe just not right now. For today, we can just be our very best selves.
I suspect you will feel better soon too, you have to because you deserve peace of mind. Stay away from thoughts that are in Fear, Doubt or Worry . Reaching out on the phone with another al-anon mom always helps me. Remember to do things ea. day that bring you joy. Parts of your life are good, stay focused on what is good.