Dont feel mean or nasty. Mine used to tell me how upset he was and what's wrong with me. in the beginning i'd say Oh dont worry about it everything would be ok , youve just got a lot on your mind (classic codie talk). After reading about the disease and detaching i'd tell him honestly why his life was a mess, diplomatically. After a while he figured that there was no sympathy only truth which he didnt want to hear. So stopped talking about it. Mine was manipulating me by trying to make me feel bad so that i would shut up about his drinking. which i did, but i did that for my sanity and it really puzzled him. Do what you feel comfortable with. You know him better than himself probably. It's such a shame though to see them go through this.
Mair x