That's a tough question. I think it depends on how far the disease has progressed. There comes a point that "the man" is long gone and a walking addiction is all that remains. At that point, I just quit talking for the most part, although I had a "slip" last night. Whew! Don't even want to put my toe in that poison pond again!
JMO, but I'd be there for the man when he's sober and wants to discuss how he feels. I don't listen to my AH and his "feelings" when he's on a drunken crying jag or throwing a personal pity party. However, I mistakenly listened to his gibberish last night, and he was in one of his moods to rip my heart out of my chest. Yeah, it got to me. Today I've recovered from the hurtful things said.
If you feel your bf wants to talk with you, and he feels you brushed him off, even though that was not your intention, perhaps making amends for that comment or just explaining what you meant by it may make him feel more comfortable to having a discussion. Just be careful that he's not manipulating and he's sincere in his desire to talk about what he's really feeling.
I tend to be leery of any type of "feeling discussions" with an active A. However, that is MY own trust issue to deal with. What you feel in your heart, and based on your experience with him, should help guide you.