Thank you all so much for good information and advice!
This credit card was my own personal card before marriage. It was never a joint account. I got a second card in his name, like you can do for family members, after we married. When we separated I asked the credit card company to take his name off the account, and they refused.
The debt must all be post separation and divorce. I never ran a balance on it! So no, this debt is not community property.
I hate confrontation and I hate asking for something I really need but might not get. I want to know what options I have before I take action so I know what else I can do if I get turned down.
At least the second time around, I never gave him a second card on my personal accounts and I took away and destroyed all his joint credit cards when he went into a 21 day detox program. Still, how smart was it to invest my money in his debts and IRA??? Never again!!! it'll be some other dumb mistake next time.
Makes ya wanna check the guy's credit history before getting involved again ... The first one had no credit record of his own - bad sign; the second one had thousands of dollars in credit card debt and no savings account of any kind - real bad sign.
How do you go about checking on someone else's credit record, anyway?