I´ve been following this thread with a great deal of interest and I can relate to all the posts.
I´ve been sad for a long time because of the difficult relationship I have with my younger brother and my older sister. My younger brother and I are very close and we are both in a similar profession with similar interests, and we have both been in AA (I have 17 years, he has 21). We were lovers in our early teens because we lived with my parents in communes with other artist couples who encouraged us to free love and no boundaries. We were both molested and we looked for some kind of safety in being together. It has taken us decades to work on our relationship, but we have overcome big hurdles and we are good friends today.
Isn´t it strange that my other siblings became totally different, but had the same dysfunctional, crazy upbringing?
My younger brother and my sister are both in very different professions and are both active alcoholics in denial. They are very hostile towards me and they see me as the same person I was before my recovery. Same thing with my younger brother. Each time I have to meet them during holiday season I feel this dread and I lose all self-esteem.
I´m trying hard to let go and let God. It´s very difficult, because of the children between us. I don´t feel there has been too much progress, but I´m getting better at being casual in their presence.
I wish you all luck in dealing with your relatives. I know nothing else that drains as much of energy, except money problems.