Your amends will be your business when YOU are ready.
The same thing coming back the other way.
It sounds to me like he has no idea what he is talking about. But then... is he still active in his alcoholism? If so, then MOST of the words out of their mouths are things we can learn to not hear.
I am sorry you have to deal with his chaos and that of his family. Separating myself from their chaos while still in the same home was something I found nearly impossible...
I wish you the best...
(((hugs)))