Mine actually left me for the 3rd time just over 3 months ago to continue on with his multiple addictions (I didn't like to 'party' enough and he once again wanted to sleep with multiple partners half his age), and was pursuing very strongly yet again (in between pursuing another married women and a girl 20 years younger than him) until 2 weeks ago. I'd drawn the line in the sand this time - about time.
And yes, despite all the rubbish I've let him deal me over the last 8 years, I too feel sad and lonely and wish things had been different. However I keep telling myself why should I even care whether somebody like him really loves me (not just the over-the-top flattery he spins to get me back in).
He's not capable of making grown up decisions, caring for himself properly, or thinking about how others really feel, much less caring how his behaviour hurts others. So his opinion of me is worth a big fat zero.... he's not capable of forming rational opinions.
Celebrity stalkers say they love their objects of infactuation and yet most have never met them.... same here... not real love, he was just loving the 'idea' of what he wanted (his fantasy of how things should be) and the fact that I put up with him.
And I loved the 'idea' of what I wished him to be.... it just doesn't match up with the real picture of who he now is. And that is something I'm still getting past, as well as the anger at myself for being so darn stupid as to let ANY of this happen in the first place - what was I thinking!?