I needed to read this post today! I am beginning to think my D has some kind of problem. I suppose I've thought it for a while (she was always the "partier" of the family). She used to be responsible, trustworthy, etc. We were very close. In the past year she changed. She became manipulative (never having money and if I didn't give it to her, she'd say she won't be able to get to work and will lose her job, if I don't pay her car insurance, she will lose her job, etc.) but funny, she still doesn't have money even though she has a job. Two weeks ago, she supposedly paid extra payments on her car insurance to get ahead - yeah, right, last week, it was stolen by someone, and this week she came up with another excuse. So now she's broke again. My newly recovering AH (70 days sober now) is the one that actually pointed out to me that he thinks she has a problem (with all the lies that she componds with other lies and manipulation) and has detached from her and is helping me detach. He says she needs to hit bottom and climb her own way out. He also called her on it, suggested she get her act together and now she wants us out of her lives forever (of course, denial) but could call me up this morning to ask me for gas money. IMO, I think it's harder to detach from a child than it is from a spouse, but either way, an A is an A and you have to let them hit bottom. That's coming straight from an A's mouth (my husband). The more you coddle, the worse it is. Thanks for listening.