Thank you both for your insightful replies. It was really helpful.
I think anger can come from helplessness, and your replies have helped me to explore that with my therapist. I had a big anxiety attack later yesterday and had a quick talk with her on the phone.
She told me that a death in the family, particularly as it was a young child and totally unexpected, could be the reason I´m so angry.
Intro, I really wanted to punch all these guys with whom I´m doing the lectures and really, really make trouble. I am the only woman in this group and it´s easy to pin my insecurity on classic "male domination". But, I got far like you because I held my anger in check and stopped nagging. These guys have the tendencies to trample over my feelings, but I know they respect me.
In anger management I´ve learned not to expect too much of people. I need to constantly remind myself. It is so important not to nag or make a nuisance of oneself. I have never known that to work.
Love and light,