I've been to two meeting Lady Blue, so I know how you feel. It is difficult to realize that you've finally arrived at a place where there needs to be change. Not knowing what the change will be, but having a good idea, is frightening. I don't know for sure if I'll leave my AH. I am gaining strength in Al-Anon. Strength I need whether I stay or not. I'm rediscovering me, and that part is fun. I'm so glad you went.