When I was but three months sober in AA, in came a young man fresh from detox whose story resonated, and I responded by speaking to him. Next thing I knew, he asked me for a ride home.... well, I was listening to the "no major changes for a year" advice and was kind of surprised that he was interested in a romantic relationship. It did catch me off guard. What resulted was a friendship extremely grounded in AA. It happens we were the exception to the rule, and definitely worked the program together and stayed sober. That, of course, was quite a few 24hours ago and is still a friendship that we both know now was meant to be. But not, at least at that time, as a romantic relationship. Rather, our friendship is about sobriety.
When certain others in the program saw that we had gotten together, they were unhappy. I don't recall whether anyone spoke to him about it, but a couple of men who had their eyes on me expressed their unhappiness. I could understand their feelings, as they may well have been holding off because I was so early in sobriety. But I can state unequivocably that neither would have been in any way suitable, whereas the relationship that did happen was at least reasonably suitable. And the young man in question was so new to AA that he didn't even know what 13th stepping was yet.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this, except to say that I was a Big Girl and could make my own decisions, even in the fog of early sobriety. If I had preferred either of those other men, I would have done something about it.
I think you've gotten some good advice above, and I wish you the best in this frustrating situation. Been there, done that.
Blessings from the Snowgoose.