Hi there, OneLove,
I never got to be a kid. I was the only "adult" in my biological family, nobody else was responsible to I had to do it. My relationship with my younger brother is still one of Father to Son. Sometimes it sucks, and it's always confusing.
I got to help raise a teenager when I married a charming lady who came with one pre-installed
What works for me is to share about it at a meeting. Al-Anon or ACoA, I used both. I just shared what was going on and how I did not know how to deal with it. I always got tons of great suggestions and little by little I learned how to have a healthy relationship with my brother, my step-daughter, all of her little friends, and eventually with the "inner child".
All the little one-liners or recovery work for me here. "one day at a time" means I'm not going to learn it all in one meeting, even though I want to. "Easy does it" means I don't have to do it perfectly perfect every single time, even though I want to. "Keep coming back" means I can keep making mistakes over and over again and eventually I will get it right.
The really cool thing is that even though I'm not doing it perfect, I get it right enough times now that the times I goof up don't matter
Mike
