ive been in 2 serious relations this far in my life. my first was an emotionally detached guy...totally messed me up. i was displaying ALL of those characteristics and patterns listed. ALL OF THEM. Took a big step and left him.
Then I met XAB. and from the moment I met him... I automatically had those feelings of comfort and familiarity being with someone unhealthy. Yup. those 2 feelings i guess that is what co-de is to me. those feelings are so strong though... Even lately I think about the relationship I had with XAB and I get a burst of warm fuzzy feeling inside because of how comfortable it was....
Also, being around someone who is clearly healthy and thinking "Naa can't be with him!" or being at a social function wondering "Hmmm... who looks like they need my help?" Or hearing that a guy feels he is insecure or has low self esteem and thinking "awww... Im interested!"
I was-and never again will be - one of those who used sex to control. Coz I had sex with my 2 exs our second date....pretty sad I know. I am really ashamed. Then later in these relationships I knew it was wrong but i also knew I messed it up from the beginning so I just remained in the relationship. But I will ever do that again. EVER EVER EVER! really. now that I am alone.. i am going to work my ass off on myself and uproot all those characteristics of a co-de that I still display.