wyshy, consider going to Al-Anon meetings yourself. You may find a safe and supportive space to discuss your concerns. (I don't mean to imply that SR is not a safe and supportive space, but I feel there is really no substitute for personal interaction.)
I agree with Signal30 that I don't think people generally are shoving AA down anybody's throat here -- certainly not on this thread. Even GlassPrisoner, who self-identifies as "a zealot," is simply testifying to what he has seen with his own eyes.
There are, of course, examples of AA self-righteousness. I visited a meeting one time where a man said "I have five years of sobriety, and I never get tempted to take a drink. If you still think about drinking, it means you're too lazy to do the Steps the right way." People with more time quickly raised their hands to say that they still think about drinking. I've never been back to that meeting, I'm just glad it wasn't my first meeting.
I certainly don't think AA is necessarily the only way to stop drinking. I stopped drinking for nine years after realizing that I was drinking too much. I went to precisely two AA meetings, then decided that I didn't need it. I ultimately realized that I didn't believe I was an alcoholic, and thought I could start drinking socially. It worked out OK for three years, then I blew up my job with a drunken incident. Now I'm working on 90 meetings in 90 days -- today marks 60 days of sobriety.
And I love going to meetings -- it's always one of the highlights of my day. I've never been to an AA meeting where I didn't laugh. Sometimes I've also cried, but there always is laughter -- along with love, support and good advice.