So glad to hear from you, Drained! Don't ever apologize for what you're doing. I don't think many of us here are in any position to judge. I certainly wouldn't want anyone judging the choices I've made.
You are the only one walking in your shoes ~ you're doing all you are capable of for today, and thats all you can do. It's great that you come here to vent and to get advice and opinions ~ its a sign of your strength and desire to change your circumstances.
People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and we're all living in glass houses here. We know where you live, drained, and some of us still haven't quite moved on ourselves.
Sending up lots of prayers for you. Please keep us posted!!!