Welcome ((((CareTooMuch))))
I know the pain all too well. I am so sorry you are going thru this....
I really like what ((((Tropikgal))))) said too you she is right ya know...
use to
Originally Posted by CareTooMuch
And other times he says he thinks I should leave him because he knows how much he hurts me.
Anytime a man says something like this to a woman I believe the man must know what he is talking about....What if your leaving were the only thing that might pull on his heart enough to get clean? What if you left and he died? What if you left and he did not die but kept on using any way? What if you left and he got clean and moved on with out you? What if you left and found you liked not having the drama of an active addict fill up your space and moved on with out him and met some really fantastic guy who did not have these kinds of set backs... These are some of the possible out comes of your leaving...
You of course do not have to leave him. But if you do not want to be in pain you will need to be mighty strong and even then he will most likely still hurt you. Him getting clean will not be no day in the park either if he does get clean....
I have 4 close family members and My H who are all addicts. Mostly I feel like they are predators and I can be their prey if I let it happen. They do not think of how I am their flesh and blood who has loved them all their lives they see $$$$ for dope my H used to see someone who will feed him, nurse him back to health, put a roof over his head but he does not care about my feelings or what I go thru well maybe a little but, only in context of how can his knowledge of my feelings can be used to manipulate me into doing something for him....
There is nothing easy or good about living in active addiction. I seriously doubt your B/F is any more amazing than my H or my brothers or sister or any of the other people's loved ones who come here to post they are all smart and talented but dope owns them.
The fact that we let them hurt us and won't get out of their ways actually puts more guilt and pain on them cause deep in their hearts they know it is wrong for them to hurt us and it is wrong for us to let them and that is the part we can own and change...