Mindy,
I cannot imagine what you must be going through....My son is a crack addict/alcoholic that has been a struggle/heartache most of his adult life......but to have two children caught in this nightmare has got to be beyond belief.....I can only offer my support and prayers......but I do know for me I had to change....change everything I thought I knew about parenting and let him go to lead this life he had chosen.....I had to learn (and boy was it a hard lesson) to let go and understand that if he stood any chance for recovery I could not cushion his fall.....
Please take time to learn to be your caregiver, to love and care for you....to know that you are not stupid and that you may be powerless over their choices, but you are not powerless over yours.....
As a parent our intentions always have been good. But the time comes when we need to let others live their own lives....I have found it's more than enough to learn to take care of ourselves......
Peace