Detaching from another child.......or..... Oh to be an elephant
I just spent the morning crying, hurting, despairing and wishing I was an elephant, ha,ha. Or living in some desolute tribe anywhere. NO DRUGS of anykind (liquid, pill, powder and all the other forms) that are such a huge part of our society.
Taking that big leap into detaching from yet another child. I am only able to do this, write this, without blubbering all over the place, because I just spoke with my 27 yo daughter after kicking her out on the streets yesterday. My 28 yo son is an addict/alcoholic (aren't they the same?)also. Started my battle with that one 14 years ago.
Anyhow, she actually told me it was what she needed!!! Oh my gosh!!! I (ha, ha) have been , trying to "help" her for last 3 years by letting her live with us, paying for her methadone tx, letting her use one of our vehichles, paying basically for EVERYTHING for her because she couldn't keep a job.
I can't believe I did that twice now. I so did not want to "lose" my daughter also, that I was duped again. How come this disease of addiction makes you feel soooooo powerless and stupid? I was also raised by alcoholic parents and I believe I am one of the most perfect co-dependants. I so am the "caretaker".
My mind is really a mushy mesh right now. Thanks for listening.