Well, he just called. He was definitely loaded as I can always hear it in his voice. So sad. Apparently when he left last night and said he was NEVER coming back (and I was quick enough to take my apt keys away from him) that means that I kicked him out. It also seems to be my problem that he didn't get any sleep last night (nothing to do with the drugs) and is again my problem that he now doesn't have anywhere safe to stay. You can imagine how well it went over when I reminded him that he left and said he was never coming back so why should he have keys to my place.
What a mess. It's much easier though when he's loaded and being an a** but, I'm so scared the guy I love is going to show back up and then it's going to get really hard. I keep thinking this might be it though and if I just stay out of things and not help then he will hit bottom and really decide he's done with all this shite. I know he's on the edge of it, I've seen it and I listen to him, really listen to him and I can see the struggle with the addiction. After ten years though with only brief periods of sobriety, his addiction is unbelievably strong and he seems like a little boy trapped inside not strong enough to fight it without help. Of course, the help meant for the scared little boy only helps the addiction get stronger.
Like I said, what a mess.