ladyamalthea

I totally binged again at dinner. I know I should probably post about these kinds of things elsewhere on the forum, but I feel so much more comfortable with you guys because I feel like I know you better...

Anyways, I have found myself getting more and more depressed over the past few days. I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon with my endocrinologist (diabetes/ hormones doctor) to go over my dreadful lab results. I know they are dreadful because I know what a terrible job I have done lately. And I'm crying over the dumbest things... for example, a few hours ago, I wanted to tape a TV show for my husband, who was already in bed. The VCR wasn't working- apparently it crapped out in a bad storm we had the other day. I don't know why, but my mind immediately went back into, "everything I touch turns to dust" mode, and I began to cry uncontrollably. And we went to go look at a car this afternoon, but the owner gave us bad directions on how to get there, and we couldn't find it, and I was so frustrated over that, on top of my other stresses at the moment, that I went home and binged. Stupid, I know. Overdramatic, I know. But I can't stop... and now that I don't have a car, I don't know how I can possibly look for a therapist to go to, since that would require being able to commit to meeting with one at a certain time, and I have no clue when I could go.

I know I need help, but I am so scared of this appointment tomorrow, because I know I'm going to start sobbing again uncontrollably, kinda like I'm doing now, and the doctor is going to look at me like I'm crazy, and understandably so; after all, I am clearly crazy... no other explanation at this point.

Prayers would be appreciated, as always.

I love you guys!