GailJ,
Your posting is beautiful and gives me everlasting hope I will find a man who is honest, not controlling, gentle, thoughtful and loving.
This week I go to court to the Pretrial for my exabf who abused me last year and has been stalking me this year, violating the order for protection I got. I don't know if he will plead not guilty and take it to trial or if his high paid attorney will attempt a plea bargin but I know I get to make a statement to object to a plea bargain and again before sentencing.
I will consider reading your posting because that is what I'm most angry at. I have to spend so much of my time fighting to not be revictimized and I hate him and all the other abusers for doing it, repeating it and being stupid enough to ignore the pain they are causing.