Im having a cry now I know pick myself up and I cant turn the clock back but hell I hate this!! this dam addicition its not fair its not fair its not fair and I knoiw its silly sorry for any mistakes I cant see the keyboard for the tears!! its not fair and I was so proud of myself I said one thing to hubby if I start drinking again I want to die as I hate this inner battle I have, non addicts have no idea the hell we go through the constant battle the voice in the back of your mind it gets so dam tirying and I am so hoping tomorow that I will feel so positive not terrified like Im feeling now I dont want to be like I was I was so proud of myself