well I stuffed up :0( :'0(.....
and it hurts no not the physical hangover side of it the fact that I let myself down firtsly then my family ( who I might add have being very kind which makes it worse in a way... Once I started to drink I didnt stop!! it was again that I had become another person and I hate it. I know the drill get up start at day one again and I will but Im so bloody scared I said to hubby if I go down the path I was going with my drinking I want to be dead and I ment it. I loved the sober days yesterday was a complete right off as I was too p***ed to do anything and today wont be much better while I recover. Im so scared and angry at the same time Im dont want to feel the urge to drink and in truth I could of fought it yesterday I just didnt want to. Im a stuiped ignorant dumb woman!!! and hopefully last night gave me a fright to realise that Im not over nor will I ever be over this dreadful disease...
*sniff* I need a cyber hugs and I think Ill lurk here most of the day
:'0( Ang