I wasn't able to define it on my own, denial kept my eyes shut, so every week I try to attend a CoDA meeting where this is read-
Patterns and Characteristics Of Codependency
These patterns and characteristics are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation. They may be particularly helpful to newcomers. - lists behaviors and characteristics that are common to people suffering from codependency.
Denial Patterns:
· I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
· I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
· I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.
Low Self Esteem Patterns:
· I have difficulty making decisions.
· I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never "good enough."
· I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
· I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
· I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.
· I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.
Compliance Patterns:
· I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger.
· I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
· I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
· I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
· I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
· I accept sex when I want love.
Control Patterns:
· I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
· I attempt to convince others of what they "should" think and how they "truly" feel.
· I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
· I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
· I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
· I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
· I have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others.