love
I spent years rationalizing that I loved him, and therefore in the name of love I was going to stick it out, I was sure that if I loved enough, everything could be conquered.
Maybe its all those silly love songs we grew up with, where the singer talks about crying themselves to sleep over you, can't breath, can't live without your love. Maybe we tend to believe it all.
If you ask 1000 people their definition of love they will all give you a different answer, Therefore its useless to try and define what love is, but it's worth defining what love isn't. I cant really tell anyone what love is, what true love implies, but i can surely tell you, without a doubt or without worrying about being wrong WHAT LOVE ISN'T.
Love isn't waking up at night alone, worried, angry, disillusioned. It's not about being sad, hurt, offended, disrespected, lied to, cheated on, unfaithful to. Its not about you assuming all responsibilities in the relationships. Love isn't about crying every day, repentance, anger, shame, fear, anxiety, loneliness. I guess I cant tell or define what love is, But i certainly can tell everyone of you who is suffering over your addict, that you aren't suffering because you love him, even though I am sure we all love or loved our addict. We really suffer from trying to make love out of what love isn't.
Next time you rationalize that you can't leave the addict because you love them, try reviewing your concept of love, and if your concept of love is what your addict is giving you, then what are you complaining about, but if your concept of love is exactly the opposite of what you are getting, Then why are you sticking around. You will forcefully arrive at the only conclusion, which is you're not with him because of love, it's definitely because of some other underlying reason.
Try discovering that reason, face it and defeat it. If not you will find yourself in the driver's seat. driving as fast as you can, trying to get away from the person sitting in the back seat, which of course will always be there no matter how fast you drive. If your concept of love is what your addict is giving you, then you should be happy because you are getting what you want. If it isn't then it is time to do some soul searching until you can find someone willing to give you what you deserve,and to reject what you undoubtedly do not deserve.
Remember life isn't how or what we want, life is what it is, nothing more nothing less. Above all remember, that life isn't the hand of cards that are dealt to us,
life is the way we decide to play that hand. Again Life is all those things that happen to us that we didn't plan for.
written by Joey