Trying.

Hi I'm new to the forum. Have been sober a little while now. Alcohol isn't the issue any longer, its now me, my whole being, my dysfunctional ways.

I am just starting to see how I always put my focus on things outside of me. Sit waiting to be fixed/rescured/cured. I am begining to see how I am so afraid to connect on an intimate level with people.

I'd always felt it was others that were distant, until I said to someone that I care about that I felt they were miles and miles emotionally away from me. They replied "thats where you have put me"

I was stunned, they were right, they were right there, emotionally and all I have to do is be willing to accept that but can't.

To know that its me at times that creates the distance, shook me. I guess it was always easy to think it was others that were inable to be intimate. That way I could just get away with it.

But to see my part in it, well, I'm not sure what to do, how to do it.