Originally Posted by
Sav 
See where this is going? I don't know if you can do this, but if you can try to make her see that his problem doesn't mean she's failed as a mother (I'm NOT saying this is true, by the way) then maybe she can come to terms with all this.
I think this post was great about making the relation between the mother's feeling of failure and the son's drinking. I don't know much about Al-Anon because I just started attending meetings. But I've been on another board for over 10 years that deals with stepfamily and inlaw issues. If this MIL is acting out, I don't think jennchip is going to change her mind. Her own son may help out, but I think jennchip is opening the door for blame if she tries to convince MIL that it wasn't her fault. She'd likely be met with, "I know it's not, it's your fault" of some ridiculous attitude. Until the MIL can act rationally and in the best interest of her own son, I believe the daughter-in-law should stay away from her. The word we use is "disengaging", but it helps when dealing with nutty family members. The whole situation is too volatile right now to invite MIL in the middle of the mess with her twisted way of thinking. Would likely cause more chaos for jennchip and her A during a time of recovery. I'm in the exact situation she is in with my A. 2 weeks into therapy. I feel like we're a cinderbox. Everything is going great right now, but it could all go very wrong with the wrong set of circumstances.