Thank you all for the truthful words and advice. Last night, becasue I didn't go meet him for some sex ( have no desire even to kiss the man let alone that) and I had my phone in another room charging the battery - he could not get ahold of me. So he left over 10 messages telling me, it's done, he's going out to get some (sex elsewhere), he's leaving, I'm making him so mad. Then he calls me all calm and said he's at some dive bar, but he's not doing anything wrong and I love you. -WTF.
He called me this morning to tell me that his aunt has two days to live and his grandfather is dying. I told them I'll pray for them, but I'm done with his B.S. and said goodbye. I was calm and really, felt good about not engageing in his crap. I'm sure he was waiting for me to ask him did he get lucky, was he drinking, why did he go to the bar. I did none of that.
What I did do tonight - go to an AA meeting for me and figured out how to reprogram my Tivo. A good night and I didn't even worry where he was