I'm glad you're seeing a counselor, but are you attending Al-Anon too? Seeing a counselor is certainly a positive thing to do, but in Al-Anon you'll be with your "own kind" who understand why you're maintaining contact.
JMO, but you're maintaining contact because you want to and you get something out of it. I mean, the guy keeps blaming you for his disease, he's not working a program, and frankly he sounds like he's full of total b.s. to me. You can drive yourself nuts trying to look within yourself to find your motivation while continuing contact, or you can get active in Al-Anon, work a program, and get on with your life.
Again, JMO, but it may be you are stuck in "victim" mode. Why else would you tolerate listening to his abuse? Maybe it's time to break free of the victim mentality.