Oh, you both have a problem....................................please get yourself two very important books to read, both are available on Amazon.com, but your library may have them also;
1. Codependent No More, by Melodie Beattle, and
2. Under the Influence.
There are excerpts, lots of them from Under The Influence at this sticky on Sober Recovery:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Hopefully these will help to open your eyes.
Based on your description of his drinking behavior he is NOT a Normal Drinker.
I will not call him an alcoholic, but what you have described is a Problem Drinker, and many Problem Drinkers progress very rapidly into alcholism.
Please do yourself and your family a big service and start reading.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, we do care a lot!
Love and hugs,