loverof1

I have posted several times over the past few months sharing brief descriptions of what has been going on in my life.

My husband has always drank, but it seemed to me that in March he lost total control. He stayed out all night and as usual I was terrified that he was hurt or in some kind of trouble. He told me the next morning that he had a problem and that he didnt know what his body would do to him, but he didnt want to go through treatment that he wanted to do it on his own. He didnt drink for 4 days. On the fifth day he got a call from his buddy and off he went back to the bar to get hammered. He left our family that day saying that he needed time to think about our future. He was gone for a week before he came home crying having felt badly about how he had treated me and the kids, but again said he didnt want to stop drinking.

Three weeks went by before he came home and asked me to go on a date. I went with him and we had a great sober night...like in the old days. He would drink on occasion, but nothing serious.

Then in June we had a really bad night. He asked me to join him to meet up with some friends, but by the time I got there he was already blitzed. He screwed up big time. We argued and I tried to get the keys from his truck, but he slammed my arm in the door and drove off angry. I immediately called and reported a drunk driver, but I knew that they would not pick him up unless he made a mistake so I also called and reported that he had slammed my arm in the door (he tore my shirt and scraped my arm by doing that). He spent the weekend in jail and by the time he got out his head was a bit more clear. He was sorry. Then came the legal fight. The state wanted to force treatment and so did I. He was assessed for alcohol abuse, but was told that there was "hardly a case for abuse". Since then he has been angry with me for having him arrested and we have gone back and forth on who's fault it was with him leaving me and the kids in between...but always coming back saying he was sorry.

Now last night he met with the assessor again, who again said that he didnt feel that there was a serious enough problem to warrant treatment. My husband came home and we talked for hours about why I felt he had a problem. For me it is simple. ...he told me so. I have been fighting for him in every way I know to save this "sick" man from himself.

He finally revealed to me that he had lied about having a problem, but he was out all night and knew that I would be angry so he lied. He figured that I would just let it go then because he was sick and was going to try. Little did he know that I would fight to the death for him.

So....was I wrong? I never would have gone to this extreme had he not told me that there was a problem. I saw a man spiraling, but was it really in my head? Im so confused.