I never knew anyone or was related to anyone who was an addict or alcoholic, before marrying my AH. I thought Alanon wasn't for me, because it was by accident that I wound up with one. But now I am starting to see the connection. My mother was always mad, so I had to walk on eggshells. My stepmother was always mad, so I had to walk on eggshells. A few longterm boyfriends were always mad, so I walked on eggshells. I thought I found Mr. Right, who was super sweet, successful, etc.
But when he drinks, he's always mad and I walk on eggshells.
So there is a connection. I'm new to this discovery period in my life. Just make sure whatever is drawing you to this person isn't related to something you experienced as a child, and turn to out of a feeling of what you are comfortable with.
I also hear you saying you can't help how you feel about him. Before marrying, I threw numerous guys to the curb. I got blindsided by the alcoholic, and it will never happen again. I dumped guys for far more frivolous reasons that being an alcoholic. Please consider what you are entering into. If I didn't have kids, I'd be dropkicking my AH at this moment. Still might. Avoiding trouble is a lot easier than getting rid of it.