Welcome to SR Asl. We will help you if you will let us. There is some great Experience, Strength and Hope (ES&H).
First let me say there are some GREAT Young People's AA meetings in Santa Monica. Call the AA phone number in the phone book and ask where one close to you is. There you will find others who have been where you are now or are where you are now.
Second, venting here will help a lot. The next time you feel like messing up come here instead and post a thread. Get the 'stuff' out that is making you crazy. It does help a lot.
Third, maybe sit down with your mom, tell her you know you have been messing up, and ask her if you can get sme therapy with an addiction therapist, and that you would like to try AA. I am positive your mom would be very agreeable to helping you. Please understand your mom is probably really scared for you right now, so you coming to her and asking for more help will go quite a ways in giving her a little relief from her fear for you.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, we do care very much!!! You can rant, rave, scream, cry and laugh here, it does help.
Love and hugs,