Lilya

When I found this forum, I had been clean and sober for many years, but I was emotionally dead because of certain changes in my life I resisted. The career I had successfully built for years had hit an all time low and I had financial problems.

I became very negative, sarcastic and hateful. I was in constant conflict with my family and friends. I felt nobody understood me and nobody cared about my many ailments I had started to nurture in order to seek attention. My mother, sister and brothers refused to go down that road with me. They had done it when I was a juvenile delinguent and refused to be co-dependants to my negativity once again.

The pain was intense and I felt like dying. That´s how I found SR. I was angry at my own AA group, because ever the victim, I felt they didn´t understand what was going on inside me. I looked at AA groups on the net and SR gave me support and strength to start over again.

For me, the magic of AA is that each time I go to a meeting or log on here, someone is sharing exactly what I need to hear. It gives me the chance to look at my problems in a new way and to do something about it. This magic has helped me to start a new life, heal the rift I had with my family, start my career again and to take full responsibility for myself.

Negative thinking has a life of it´s own. It is also bad for your health. For me, the solution has been to let go. I let my family and friends go and worked on myself. The problem was there. Not with them. When I was ready to become a responsible family member, they were there and welcomed me back with open arms.

Of course there are dysfunctions and they irritate me, but I have a choice. I can get angry or I can choose to let it go. The same goes for everyone else in my life, friends, people at work and partners.

Many thanks for the support and warmth I´ve felt here.

Love and light,