Lovestoomuch

That took a while. To be honest with you I took him back countless times. But.....each time got a little easier for me to say no. Each time he would be gone, although lonley, I somehow found peace in the fact he wasn't here.

When I got home everyday I knew I wouldn't have to worry about what kind of mood he would be in.........would there be a fight..........Would he have done anything to help around the house.........would he even be here. I really loved not having to worry so much. The mood in the house was what I made it ya know?

The only worry I ever had was money and I'll tell you something Cindi........I figured I'd always have that worry with or without him.

How can we expect to find the joy life has in store for us when all we can do.........and I'm being brutally honest here.......is obsess about them. I never did it intentionally, but I did it. When you're in constant worry about what to expect from them you're freaking miserable.


We were engaged at one point. I loved the idea of being married. It's what women my age are supposed to be right? That is so wrong. No one can complete us but us. Marriage is just a status anymore. I've known couples who have never been married and are the happiest couple in the world. That's not to say I don't believe in the sanctity of marriage because I do. I just don't think that piece of paper makes us better in the eyes of the world..........and that piece of paper certainly doesn't protect us from being miserable, beat down or deprived of love.

I'm glad I never married him. That made it easier I suppose, but really ..........it shouldn't matter.