He may be a narcissist. If it's true, so what? It's a label. If you had confirmed proof he was a narcissist, misogynist, paranoid-schizophrenic, bipolar, or whatever psychological diagnosis it may be, what difference would it make? He'd still be what he is. Knowledge of something doesn't particularly make it any easier to swallow. In fact, the less I know about my AH and the workings of his mind or what sort of disorder he suffers from, the happier I am. I don't even need to go there because it serves no purpose for my own recovery.
Case in point: My AH used to collect hard-core porn and file it in lots of folders on our computer. One day I found it, so he switched to putting his files on those little hard-drive sticks that hold lots of memory. I remember several years ago telling him that his looking at that stuff to the degree he looked at it bothered me. His reply? "Hey, it's only 'eye candy.'" He missed the point entirely. But I didn't. See, I realized he didn't give a good cahoot what bothered me. Thus, I got a two-minute crash course in realizing my expectations of him behaving with any integrity or respect for others was zilch. I also started detaching at that time.
So, I guess the bottom line of what I'm saying here is, what difference does it make? He's an addict who is doing what addicts do; namely, craping on people and using them. All your post says about you is you're looking for answers in order to figure out if you were conned or if he was sincere. JMO, but having seen what my AH is capable of, and looking back on how high he turned up the charm prior to marriage, I've written it off as someone who wanted to keep me hooked until he was in a "secure" relationship. Then he went back wallowing in his addiction and showing his true colors.
Be glad you didn't marry the loser, gns. You were spared a lot more than you realize. I learned the hard way - don't try to have a rational discussion with an addict, don't try to figure out an addict, and learn to take care of yourself and to heck with the addict!