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Old 07-04-2007, 05:33 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
outonalimb
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
I agree with Give Love on this one.

I managed my exah's paycheck thoughout our entire relationship. I didn't mind doing it before drugs hit. Once drugs hit, my exah stopped bringing his check home. When he found recovery, he asked me to start taking care of his money again. And I did it...but I did so grudgingly. I didn't want the responsiblity...It fed into the whole codie thing about 'controling' him and trying to 'fix' things for him. It was too easy for me to get dragged back into the chaos...even if it was just financial chaos and not drug-related anymore. Chaos was chaos and I didn't want anything to do with it after a while.

If you feel that you can do it and not feel that it will suck you into the role of babysitter/warden/super-spy, I say go for it. Lots of marriages have one person who handles the finances because its just easier that way. For me, it was a huge trigger for codependent behavior.

So...like GL, I ask, how do YOU feel about doing it?
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