Hey ARL,,,
My relationship with my A started long distance also. I think that was why I was so "in the dark" about his drinking. Looking back on it, I realize he was DRUNK the first night we met. And each and every time I went out his way after that. In fact, it took me a long time to fogive myself for being so naive. Hey, at least I progressed from feeling REALLY stupid to naive
I will say, the one thing being long distance got me is the ability to "seperate" when the time came. Reading some of the struggles others make to acheive that seperation makes me thank my spirits for that gift.
Like you, I knew when he was lying also. I could tell whether we were on the phone together or through email. He TYPED drunk. LOL. I'd read an email and go,"WHAT?!?!!?" But talk to him later and he's SWEAR he was sober, "going on 5 days CE Girl". Like you, it got to the point where I'd let it go, cause it simply wasn't worth it.
I haven't seen my A in almost 4 months. It like being stuck in an abyss. Am I in a relationship or not? If it was anyone else, I would be moving on with my life and considering the "relationship" done. Long distance or not, when you don't "see, feel, and touch" you are pretty much single in my mind.
Thats when I know, I still have work to do on MYSELF and my need to be dependant on an unhealthy relationship. Bottom line, its not about being long distance, its about the "safety" of not having him around.
I'm working on getting to the point where I WANT to be around the man I love. I know for sure, when I reach that point, I will be "beyond codependancy"
Funny how that works huh?
Peace