We have not met, so I will start by saying, "Hi!"
I will give you a small postivie:
I figured all this out at age 51... at least you are doing this a lot younger!
You start by taking small steps. No one discovers who they are in one leap. You think about one thing you really LIKE. Cats? Go to a Cat Show! Decorating? Go to a Home Show! Cooking? Take a class! Horses? Go toa horse show.
Do one small thing just for you and by yourself.
Before you do anything every day, look in the mirror and no matter how you feel, say to your reflection, "Good Morning Beautiful! I am so lucky to get to spend the day with YOU!" Takes awhile, but you will learn to believe it.